PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE NOT HONEYMOONING AT GOLD CUP

And a bloody thank heavens for that. 

It’s hard enough to move around the crowd of 50,000 without a bunch of royal gapers and international paparazzi shoving about trying to get a digital snap of the royal couple.

Luckily, Great Meadow didn’t make the list which is rumored to include Australia, Barbuda, Necker Island, Corfu, Ibiza, Kenya and Mustique.

Speaking of Mustique – a tiny private island in the Caribbean where the rich and famous have frolicked for years – one of its most permanent residents has managed to score an invitation to the big wedding.

Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe

Now while we haven’t been invited, and you haven’t been invited, Basil Charles has been invited.  So has somebody named Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe, so how much fun can the wedding be…really?

(Which begs the question: Is Inès Marie Lætitia Églantine Isabelle de Seignard de La Fressange on the guest list?  Oh no, we aren’t making that one up either – the famous former model just published a book titled Paris Chic which includes a section on "How to Dress Like a Parisian." She want you to know this: No complete outfits. Don't look "rich." Wear two scarves. Make sure you own the following: a man's blazer, a trench coat, a navy sweater, a tank top, a little black dress, jeans and a leather jacket, Converse sneakers and flats. Got that?)

But we digress, they call Charles “The King of Mustique” -- the godfather of the glitterati. For the past 30 years, celebrities ranging from Prince William to Amy Winehouse, Mick Jagger to Kate Moss, the late Princess Margaret to the Beckhams have knocked back a cocktail at his beachside bar aptly named Basil’s Bar.

Inès Marie Lætitia Églantine Isabelle
de Seignard de La Fressange

So why have Prince Will (I Am Not!) and Kate included Charles on the guest list?  We guess for two reasons.  Everybody loves a good beach bar with a discreet, knowing and way-cool bartender. Check, Basil’s got all of that goin’ on.

That said, these days all of Charles current and former clientele aren’t looking to rock the King of Mustique’s boat as the sixty-two-year-old bar keep is publishing his memoirs. “My book will shock the high society of Mustique as it will tell the truth about celebrities at play,” he told London’s Daily Mail.  

According to the Mail, the mere concept of such an “indiscretion” has the stars “quaking in their jeweled Louboutins.”

(BTW, Louboutins are fancy French shoes…we didn’t know either, we had to Google it…and that is another reason we haven’t been invited! Ahh, affronter la vie avec...noblesse...)

Basil Charles