All of the inside scoop on Virginia's biggest day of Steeplechase racing -- the Virginia Gold Cup. Hey, 50,000 of your closest friends can't be wrong! Do you have your tickets yet?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Surely by now, you have seen the commercial with Russian billionaire “I Am Epic Win” featuring his miniature giraffe working out on a treadmill.

Well, what better way to liven up the extremely popular Jack Russell Terrier Races (paddock, 11:15 am) at the Virginia Gold Cup than adding a very expensive, very rare and very exclusive miniature giraffe into the equation.  It could give the term "the race of his life" a whole new meaning!

The tiny giraffes hail from the famous Sokoblovsky Farms in Russia where they are known as “Petite Lap Giraffes.”

According to the Sokoblovsky Farm's website it all got started when “Great Grandfather Nicolas escaped circus with best friend Alex, the giraffe. The rest they say is history. For the next century our family have made business of Petite Lap Giraffe breeding here in Russia. We welcome you to visit Sokoblovsky Farms, just 80 kilometers outside Krasnodar.”

(As far as we can tell, Krasnodar is just about 9 kilometers west of Craptagorsk.)

According to the Sokoblovskys, the Petite Lap Giraffes require special care including daily hugs and kisses, a diet of bonsai tree leaves (available at and a weekly bubble bath.  

The web site says the optimal environment includes a clean litter box, “filtered” air conditioning and the music of Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov if possible.

Do all this and your Petite Lap Giraffe will be happy and thriving.  Otherwise, according to Sokoblovsky “they make tears.”  We are assuming they mean teeny-tiny petite lap giraffe tears…

Of course, you to may want one, but that’s a bit tricky.  Seems as the gestation period is 420 days, so it takes a while to generate these precious little critters.  This process if further slowed by the fact that there is very limited breeding stock – one bull named Vladimir and one cow named Svetlana.

That said, don’t be discouraged, click here to find out how to get your Petite Lap Giraffe.  Then click the button that says “I Want Giraffe clicking here,” and prepare to laugh. 

Out loud.

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